Oliver Smith
Lyndale Advent Play 2001
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Lyndale Gone Mad Productions
Lyndale United Church of Christ
Children's Christmas Program 2001
Santa's Wand
Script by Oliver Smith
Art by Kelly Waterman
A Christmas Drama For 35-40 Minutes
Cast
Narrator
Evil Elf
Pat's Father
Pat
Kelly
Dani
Mr Claus
Ms Claus
Kat
Santa's Wand
Pat's Father:
Pat, let's go. It's time for the Advent Play rehearsal.
Pat:
I don't want to
Pat's Father:
But why? You were looking forward to it just a couple of weeks ago.
(pauses briefly, thinking) This would, by any chance, have anything to
do with us not getting that toy you asked for, would it?
Pat:
I don't want to talk about it.
Pat's Father:
Look. I have already explained to you that it is too expensive, plus
your mother and I just don't feel that it would be good for you to have
a toy like that.
Pat:
(Turning to the father) Why? What do you have against it? Besides,
everyone is going to get one for Christmas this year father.
Pat's Father:
Who do you know is going to get a two hundred dollar toy that does
nothing but flash a bunch of colored lights and change shapes when you
talk to it?
Pat:
It's a Jolly Roger Space Cadet Changoid Master Dasher, father, not just
some...toy. It's the latest thing. Haven't you seen any on television?
Pat's Father:
I have seen the commercials Pat, and I just don't see how it could be
worth two hundred dollars!
Pat:
So, are you saying I am not worth it? (Pat runs away to Pat's bedroom)
Pat's Father:
(frustrated and looking at the door to Pat's bedroom, which has been
slammed shut) It has nothing to do with how valuable you. No toy should
determine someone's value. Only you can determine what your value is.
Pat:
(from inside of bedroom) I'm not going to rehearsal and I'm not going
to be in that dumb play. It's stupid!
Pat's Father
Pat, I've had enough of this behavior. Are you going to come out or am
I going to have to go in there? If I do it will not be pleasant. You
have three minutes to meet me out at the car so we can go.
(Pat leaves the room slowly and walks towards the door and out to the
car, not speaking) That's better. Now get in the car so we can get to
church.
(at church)
Pat's Father
I will pick you up after rehearsal. See you later.
(Pat get's out of the car and stands in the church parking lot, waiting
for Pat's father to leave. When Pat's father leaves, Pat walks across
the Parking lot, away from the church door).
Pat:
(speaking to self) I said I'm not going to be in the dumb play. I'm
just going to walk around until the rehearsal is over and say that I
was there, but I'm not going in there. I'll teach them to tell me what
I can do and what I can have. If only I could have anything I wanted I
would be happy. (Pat walks up Bryant avenue and crosses the 29th
Street Greenway. While looking down at the Greenway, Pat sees two
people, a man and a woman, walking in Sata Claus outfits.) (speaking
to self) Who is that? And why are they wearing Santa clothes? (Pat
walks down the ramp and starts following the couple. Soon the the
Santas turn around and look at Pat.)
Ms Claus:
Why are you following us?
Pat:
(embarrassed) I don't know. I guess I thought it was kind of funny
seeing two people walking out here, in the cold, with Santa clothes on.
Mr Claus:
Why would it be funny to see Santa Claus walking in Santa clothes?
Pat:
Because Santas don't walk around town. They sit in department stores
and at malls, not in Uptown on the Greenway.
Ms Claus:
It would be fun debating with you and your ideas on what Santas can and
cannot do, but I'm afraid we are a bit worried about something and we
just don't have a lot of time before Christmas gets here.
Pat:
What could you be worried about? You don't have to do anything. Parents
buy all of the presents. Where have you been? At the north pole?
Mr Claus:
Well, quite frankly, that's exactly where we've been, but one of our
elves got mad at us and took our wand.
Pat:
Your wand? What wand? I've never heard of any Santa Wand. Are you some
kind of nut?
Ms Claus:
Just exactly how do you think that we get all of the presents to all
children in the world if we don't have a wand?
Pat:
Santa isn't even real. I don't believe that you do any of that kind of
stuff.
Mr Claus:
If we aren't real then who do you think we are?
Pat:
This is Uptown. Do you think I'd be all that surprised if someone
dresses weird? I think you two are just headed for a costume party.
Ms Claus:
Since you don't think we're real then you probably wouldn't mind
helping us find the Magic Wand. We would really appreciate it if you
would do this.
Pat:
I don't really believe you are real, nor do I believe that there is
such a thing as a Magic Wand, but if there is one what would it look
like?
Mr Clause:
It's about your height.
Ms Clause:
Actually, I think it's a little taller.
Mr Clause:
Yeah, I guess you are right, it is a bit taller. Anyway, it has a
curved top and looks very old, and it is very old. It was old when we
found it.
Pat:
You found it?
Ms Claus:
Yeah, we did, hundreds of years ago. When we discovered that it would
give you anything you wanted we decided that we would make all of the
children of the world happy by making sure that they got whatever they
asked for.
Mr Claus:
Of course, we didn't just want to give anything to anyone. We wanted to
make sure that the children were good and that they had good
relationships with their parents. I've even heard that songs have been
written about this. Have you heard them?
Pat:
Yeah, I've heard them, but I don't believe that they have anything to
do with you, or anyone else. It's all make believe. If it was real I
would be able to get a Jolly Roger Space Cadet Changoid Master Dasher
toy, but my parents don't think I'm worth it.
Ms Claus:
Maybe they are right. It's not necessarily good if people get
everything they want. Imagine how awful that would be.
Pat:
I don't think it would be awful at all. I think it would be wonderful.
Mr Claus:
I would be very careful if I were you. You need your parents and other
people. Presents are only temporary. There are other things more
important.
Pat:
I don't think so. I've got to get back to church now. If I'm not there
when my dad gets there he is going to be very angry.
Ms Claus:
Be sure to bring the Magic Wand to us if you find it.
Mr Claus:
Be careful of that elf too. That elf is nothing but trouble and loves
to get children in trouble with their parents.
Ms Clause:
And if you find the Wand, whatever you do, don't talk to it. It will
try to get you to answer three riddles, but don't do it. Bring right
back to us. If that Wand gets destroyed every toy that we have given to
every child throughout the world over the centuries will disappear in
an instant. Do you understand? You must be very careful.
Pat:
Whatever. Get a life!
(The evil elf has been listening to the entire conversation between Pat
and the Santas from beneath the Bryant street bridge and follows Pat on
the way back to church, eventually racing ahead and placing the Magic
Wand in back of a garage located in an alley that Pat takes to the back
of the church. When Pat walks down the alley Pat notices Santa's Wand
leaning on a garage, but Pat thinks it is just a stick that the owner
of the garage has left. Pausing briefly, Pat starts to walk by the
Wand.)
Santa's Wand:
Where are you going?
Pat:
(looking at the stick, surprised, confused) Did you speak to me?
Santa's Wand:
Yes I did. Aren't you going to speak to me?
Pat:
Who are you?
Santa's Wand:
Can't you tell? I'm Santa's Wand. Notice the curve at the top? Just
like the Santas told you.
Pat:
You mean you and the Santas are real?
Santa's Wand:
Think about it. You are talking to a stick. What do you think?
Pat:
I can't believe this. (Pat rubs eyes) Where is the evil Elf they were
talking about?
Santa's Wand:
The Elf put me here so that you could find me.
Pat:
My wish?
Santa's Wand:
Yeah, your . Jolly Roger Space Cadet Changoid Master Dasher toy.
Pat:
You mean you can do that. You can really do that?
Santa's Wand:
I'm a Magic Wand, what do you think?
Pat:
I don't believe it. If you are real give me one right here, right now.
Santa's Wand:
I will but you have to answer three riddles first
Pat:
I can't believe this. I knew you weren't real.
Santa's Wand:
If I'm not real then it won't matter if you answer the riddles or not,
will it?
Pat:
I guess not. What's the first riddle?
Santa's Wand:
We come at night without being fetched,
And by day we are lost without being stolen."
What are we?"
Pat:
Just a minute, let me think. (Pat looks up in the sky) Wow, it's
getting later than I thought, I can already see the stars. It's
interesting how we can seen them at night, but we can't see them during
the day, and we don't have to do anything but watch...Wait a minute!
It's the stars. They come at night "without being fetched" and they are
"lost" by day "without being stolen." It's the stars isn't it?
Santa's Wand:
Yep. You got that one right. Now answer this one:
I Run over fields and woods all day
Under the bed at night I'm not alone,
With long tongue hanging out,
A-waiting for a bone."
What am I?"
Pat:
This one is harder. I don't know if I can answer it. (while thinking
Pat looks down at the shoes) My shoes are really dirty, I must have
been walking in some dirty snow down by the Greenway. I've had these
shoes for quite a while, and they've taken me through fields and woods
all over town. They would get lonely under the bed at night if they
didn't have each other. (suddenly realizing the answer to the riddle)
I've got it. It's a shoe. My shoe runs "over fields and woods all day
and under the bed it's "not alone" and the bone is in my foot that it
is waiting for. Its a shoe!
Santa's Wand:
You've answered the second riddle, but can you answer the third riddle:
I am the beginning of eternity
The end of time and space
The beginning of every end,
And the end of every place,
What am I?
Pat:
Uh oh, I'm may not be able to get this one. It reminds me of riddles
this one teacher gave us in class, to get us to think about things in a
different way. Some of them weren't about things, but letters, like 'f'
or 'g'. But I don't know if this is the same kind of riddle. (thinking
for a few seconds) But maybe it is. 'e' is at the beginning of
'eternity' and at the end of "time" and "space". It's also at the
beginning of every "end" and at the end of every "place". I think it is
the letter 'e'.
Santa's Wand:
Harumphf! I didn't think you could do it. Now you can ask for whatever
you want.
Pat:
Really? I still don't believe it, but it won't hurt to try. Give me a
Jolly Roger Space Cadet Changoid Master Dasher, right now, right here.
(as soon as Pat asked for the toy it appeared right next to Pat on the
alley). Wow! You really did it. (looking up at Santa's Wand) if you are
really real, do it again, give me another one.
Santa's Wand:
All right. there you go.
Pat:
And I want a bicycle too, with big saddlebags.
Santa's Wand:
Anything else?
Pat:
Not right now. I want to show this stuff to my friends. (taking the the
two toys and Santa's Wand, Pat placed them in the saddle bags of the
bicycle and rode the bicycle to church).
(At church, at the back door, Pat is waiting for Kelly and Dani. They
they come out.)
Kelly:
Look, there's Pat.
Dani:
(speaking to Pat) Yeah, where has you been?
Kelly:
And where did you get that cool bike and saddle bags.
Dani:
And what is that strange stick?
Pat:
You two aren't going to believe this, but this stick is actually
Santa's Wand. This is how Santa gets all of the presents to all of the
kids in the world at Christmas. And I used this Wand to get this
things, including two Jolly Roger Space Cadet Changoid Master Dasher
toys. (opening the saddlebags). Look!
Kelly:
Are you nuts? What are you talking about? Wands? Santa?
Dani:
Yeah, first you miss rehearsal and leave us there and then you tell us
this crazy story? What's going on? Your dad is going to really be mad.
Pat:
With this wand, we don't need to worry about dads, or schools or even
churches. We can get whatever we want when we want it.
Kelly:
Yeah, right.
Pat:
It's true. Just ask me to get something.
Dani:
Ok, get me a bike just like you have, and get one for Kelly too.
Pat:
Alright. Wand, get bicycles for Kelly and Dani like mine. (immediately
two bicycles appear)
Kelly:
Holy macheral!
Dani:
Did you see that?
Kelly:
I can't believe it.
Dani:
Will it give us money too?
Pat:
I don't know. Let's try. Wand, give us a bag full of one hundred dollar
bills. (immediately a bag bulging with one hundred dollar bills appears
between the three).
Kelly:
You are right. We don't need parents.
Dani:
Or school.
Pat:
Or church.
Narrator:
Pat, Kelly and Dani loose interest in their parents, their other
friends, school, church and everything else that children normally
enjoy and depend on. They quit school and start hanging out in the
coffee houses, playing computer games with coins they get from the
Santa Wand and then they go to the park to play with their toys.
Whenever a toy breaks or becomes a bit worn they throw it away and get
more toys from the Santa Wand. They made arrangements with an older
friend to rent an apartment for the three of them in the Wedge, then
they moved out without telling their parents where they were, and they
started to fill their apartment with all of their favorite things.
Their new friends and neighbors were perplexed by the three young
people and wondered where they were getting all of the money they were
spending. When they totally disappeared they all became quite worried.
A young teenager, named Kat, who was homeless and frequented the coffee
houses that Pat, Kelly and Dani spent time at, started following the
three of them, trying to figure out why they had so much money and
never had to work.
One night, while perched in a tree next to apartment where Pat, Kelly
and Dani lived, Kat noticed Pat pull a stick out of the closet and
start talking to it. Out of nowhere, a brand new television appear in
the room. Pat placed the stick back into the closet and Pat, Kelly and
Dani started watching the television.
From that point on, Kat was determined to get that stick away from Pat.
A few days later, Kat waited for Pat, Kelly and Dani to all three leave
their apartment with their toys, ready for a day of play at the coffee
house and the park, then Kat broke into the apartment and stole the
Wand. When Kat reached the alley the Wand spoke
Santa's Wand:
Are you ready to answer the riddle?
Kat:
What? Who's talking?
Santa's Wand:
I am.
Kat:
Are you the thing that has been getting everything for those three
kids?
Santa's Wand:
Yes. I am.
Kat:
Then you can get me what ever I want?
Santa's Wand:
I can, but you have to answer the riddle first.
Kat:
Why?
Santa's Wand:
I'm a magic wand. I don't have give you any reasons why. That is just
the way it is. Now. Are you ready to answer the riddle?
Kat:
I guess so. What is it?
Santa's Wand:
I soar without wings, I see without eyes.
I've traveled the universe to and fro.
I've conquered the world, yet I've never been anywhere but home.
Who am I?" (I'm your imagination)
Kat:
I hate riddles. I can never answer these things. (Kat thinks hard for a
while, but eventually gives up) I can't answer it. Can't you just give
me what I want like you did those other kids?
Santa's Want:
No. You must answer the riddle.
(Angrily Kat grabs Santa's Wand and throws it down on the alley street
and grabs some paper from a nearby trashcan. Then Kat lights the paper
and watches the flames build up. When the fire is hot Kat throws
Santa's Wand into the fire and it burns down to ashes. Then Every thing
in the apartment of Pat, Kelly and Dani disappears, and the toys that
Pat, Kelly and Dani are playing with at the playground disappears.)
(at the playground)
Kelly:
What's happening? My toys are disappearing.
Dani:
Mine too. What's going on?
Pat:
Oh, no, somebody must has stolen the stick and destroyed it!
Kelly:
What are you talking about?
Pat:
The Clauses warned me that this might happen. I should have listened to
them. This means that every toy that they have given to children all
over the world will disappear. Let's get back home and see if we can
find the Wand. (the three young people start running to their
apartment. When they pass the alley where Kat is they see the fire and
watch the last piece of the Wand turn to ashes).
Dani:
There's that kid we've been seeing at the coffee houses.
Kelly:
And that is the Wand that is burning.
Pat:
Quick, get it out of the fire! (all three run to the fire).
Dani:
It's too late. It is totally burned.
Kelly:
What are we going to do now. We don't have any money or toys. We won't
be able to buy food or pay the rent.
Pat:
I guess we will have to go back to our parents.
Dani:
And school.
Kelly:
And church.
Pat:
What is today?
Dani:
Sunday. Why?
Kelly:
Yeah, why?
Pat:
That means that all of our parents are at church. Maybe they won't be
so mad if they are at church. They always seem to be in better moods
when they are there.
Dani:
I don't know. I think they'll be pretty angry.
Kelly:
What else can we do?
Pat:
Come on. Let's see if they missed us.
Narrator:
It turned out that it was the Sunday when the Advent play was being
performed. As they arrived at the back of the church, the whole church
turned around and looked at them and gasped with astonishment, because
everyone had been so worried about them and had been looking for them.
In the front of the church was the traditional nativity scene, with
Mary, Joseph, and Jesus in a stable. The pastors left the front of the
church and extended a welcome to the three young people. When they
hesitated, one of the pastors spoke.
Pastor:
I can be given,
but never taken away,
I can be felt,
but never seen,
I am older than the oldest of humans,
but even the youngest know me.
What am I?" (love)
(Pat, Kelly and Dani look at each other, none of them having an answer,
and they all say, "I don't know.")
Pastor:
(looking at the congregation) Can anyone hear answer this riddle?
What can be given,
but never taken away,
can be felt,
but never seen,
is older than the oldest of humans,
but known even to the youngest?
Congregation:
Love!
The End
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